How To Focus And Regain Control Of Your Life

Information technology's easy to experience stuck in a rut when we focus on what we cannot control. Indeed, the more nosotros focus on things outside of our control, the more probable nosotros are to feel anxiety, anger, and disappointment. Conversely, when we focus on what we tin can control, we can feel good, confident, empowered, and a sense of achievement. But how do we recognise what is inside and outside of our control?

In this post, we will explore whether nosotros tin can command our feelings and thoughts? How? We will look at why controlling thoughts and feelings tin be bad and how to overcome things you can't control. Finally, we volition wait at methods based on the exercise of mindfulness to help you lot become better at controlling what you tin can control.

Tin we control our feelings and thoughts?

Information technology can oft seem similar the world believes we are capable navigators of our thoughts and feelings. If you've e'er been told to 'not worry' or 'calm down' then y'all will no incertitude know where we're coming from. It can lead to attempts to control elements of our lives that are actually exterior of our control, resulting in frustration and disempowerment. Nevertheless, when we turn out attention to what is in our control it tin lead to a greater acceptance of that which we can't.

While pushing unwanted thoughts and feelings from our heed is a desirable skill, controlling thoughts and feelings is not as straightforward as many make out. Imagine if someone told y'all they will give you a prize if you don't think of flowers for the adjacent 5 minutes. You try to put all thoughts of flowers out of your listen and try to think nearly something else instead. However, you notice that your thoughts keep creeping dorsum to the very thing you lot're meant to be avoiding. And even when you exercise realise you've managed to end thinking nigh flowers, at that place you are thinking nigh flowers again.

This is what psychologists call the rebound effect of thought suppression. When we try to suppress our thoughts, this idea subsequently returns often with increased frequency. Spending time and free energy on attempting to put thoughts and feelings out of your listen can, therefore, requite you less control over how these emotions impact y'all. In short, telling ourselves, or hearing others tell us, not to think or experience in a certain fashion is unhelpful, not to mention impossible. While we may all have strategies to temporarily forget painful emotions, they can unearth themselves when they achieve a humid point and shatter our illusion of control.

What can we control?

Now nosotros've cleared upwardly the myth that we are in total command of our thoughts and feelings, you tin can begin to cutting yourself some slack for experiencing certain emotions and tell yourself 'these are out of my control'. Nosotros're sure that you are now wondering well-nigh what I can command.

Letting go of the concept that yous tin can control and suppress hard thoughts and feelings gives yous more than energy to pay attention to them. This is something we can control. It is how we respond to our thoughts and feelings which we do take agency over. This involves taking the time to be mindful of how our thoughts and feelings are influencing us and have steps to alter this track. We will explore how we can use mindful exercise to exercise this later in this mail.

Equally, how nosotros acquit is more than in the grasp of our control than our thoughts and feelings. For instance, we can feel anxious nonetheless act with great courage. This comes downward to how much nosotros allow our emotions to affect and influence what nosotros practice. Of course, non all emotions are negative, but when feelings such equally feet and fright are controlling our behaviour and dominating our thought patterns in that location are steps nosotros tin take to regain that control. This grade of command is linked to our emotional intelligence – the extent to which we are able to disassemble our emotions from our reactions. Going through life on motorcar-pilot can mean that developing emotional intelligence can exist difficult, and the persistence of stress, self-doubt, worries, fears, and anxieties remaining the predominating norm of our daily beingness. In strengthening your awareness of how your listen works, yous tin can go to the phase where you lot dictate the response to your emotions rather than indulging them.

Decision-making what you can control: Practising mindfulness

An sensation that there are things that you can and can't command is the kickoff phase in empowering yourself and re-focusing your energy in those areas where control is within accomplish.

Regaining control can be achieved through mindfulness. Mindfulness is the do of being present, self-aware, and engaged in what you are doing and where yous are at that moment. In practising mindfulness, we railroad train our attention to detect our thoughts and feelings and alter our behaviour towards them. Slowly, we can train ourselves to bring our attention to the present and be more open with what is going on in our minds and our response to the globe around u.s..

We tin can all access the transformative power of mindfulness. Here are some techniques to go you started on your journey in regaining control of what yous can command.

ane. Pay attending to your thoughts and feelings

The practice of mindfulness urges us to let go of the belief that we can command our thoughts and feelings. Instead, it teaches us to pay attention and abound our sensation of what nosotros are feeling. By being in tune with the ebb and catamenia of your listen you will take greater command of the power your emotions take over your behaviour.

In this regard, mindfulness is a control process. As y'all grow your awareness of your emotions and how yous answer to them you will realise that the vocalization in your head is not always to be trusted. Realising that your thoughts are sometimes unhelpful, and that they don't have to dictate your actions is a huge step in regaining control of how thoughts and feelings tin influence your behaviour.

2. Focus on the present

Mindfulness is something that can be drawn upon anywhere at any time. Keeping your attention in the present is a fundamental practise in achieving a mindful state. The reason backside maintaining the mind in the nowadays is because this is where calmness and peace of listen are about likely to exist establish. It is where we can be most in melody with our emotions, thoughts, and sensations and where our concentration is most astute. Alternatively, thoughts and feelings lingering on the past or the futurity tin can not just distract usa, they tin manifest in atmospheric condition such as depression and anxiety when your attending is focused on another place in time.

Then, what does it mean to exist in the present and how does this help us to regain control? Tuning into your senses and observing the sights, smells, sounds, and feel of the world around us is a fashion of bringing your attending to the present. When your listen is focused in the present it is not obsessing over what could accept been or what might be about to occur. It allows you to see your thoughts and feelings every bit fleeting rather than permanent. Being mindful of the present allows you to re-focus your attending when yous find that you are getting defenseless upwardly in unpleasant thoughts and feelings. This puts you lot in the driving seat of how emotions control yous.

3. Take activeness for change

Paying attending to your thoughts and feelings and training your mind to focus on the present takes practice. However, the more yous practice it the ameliorate you will get and the result can accept a dramatic touch on your well-being. Our final point about taking action refers to putting some achievable goals in place to become yous started on your journey. Thinking about where you lot want your life to be and the sort of person you want to go is a cinch fashion of inspiring action to brand positive changes in your life.

Terminal word

Fighting back against a world which tells you that you lot're in charge of how you feel can seem impossible. It can as well lead to self-arraign for experiencing thoughts and emotions that you have no control over and a desire to suppress them. Acknowledging that in that location are things that you can and command in your life is an important pace in focusing your energy and attention in the right areas.

Mindfulness is an effective practice in regaining control over your thoughts and emotions and how you react to them. With practice, the procedure of refocusing your attention to the present moment will get a long fashion in helping you lot to acknowledge that you lot're feeling a certain fashion, know that it isn't permanent, and take steps to motion towards the life you want to atomic number 82.

MindOwl Founder – My own struggles in life have led me to this path of understanding the human being status. I graduated with a bachelor'southward caste in philosophy earlier completing a principal'due south caste in psychology at Regent'south University London. I then completed a postgraduate diploma in philosophical counselling before beingness trained in Human activity (Acceptance and commitment therapy).
I've spent the terminal eight years studying the see of meditative practices with modernistic psychology.

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